The End of the Beginning

As I’m finishing this last half of my freshman year in college, it almost doesn’t seem real. Exams start this week and will be finished by the next and then it will be time to move out and head home. I feel like I’ve had a whole lifetime of experiences just within the past 10 months, and while I know there are SO many more to come, I want to hold on to the next 11 days for as long as possible.

I’ve honestly had the time of my life and have gained so much from this first year and I’m escaping with only a few, injuries, heartbreaks and meltdowns. I’ve made some of the best friends I’ve ever had, had some crazy, fun nights followed by mornings filled with aspirin and TRYING to remember the details of the night before, I’ve gone to sleep at 9 o’clock in the morning, ruined a pair of white converse, seen one of my favorite bands live(twice), sang for over a thousand people, and fallen in love more times than I can count. But these are all stories for different days.

The end of this school year has left me with so many memories, stories and this odd feeling of invincibility. In the most recent episode of the Amazing Race, the racers had to scale the side of cliff and then plunge 40 feet into the water below. Now, I could make some metaphor about how the first year of college is kind of like taking that 40 foot plunge, but that’s not where I am going with it. As I was watching, I was seeing all these amazing competitors hesitate and I couldn’t help thinking “Why are they hesitating?” “I would jump so fast, and I would have fun doing it.” Now the question of how I would react while actually standing on that ledge, remains unanswered (maybe I’ll find out one day). But, right now lets just assume that if there’s a cliff, or any other seemingly intimidating obstacle, I’m going to conquer it, no questions asked.

I believe that, for the most part, college is one of the only times we can be completely selfish. As long as you’re careful, you can do practically do whatever you want and have little-to-no repercussions. We, for the first time in (most of) our lives are truly independent; free of curfews, reminders and lectures, we are on our own. Some people don’t know what to do with the freedom that comes with being a college student. But I have taken full advantage of my new found freedom.

My parents were never super strict and I was allowed to do the things that I wanted and be the person I wanted to be. However, I don’t think I’ve ever been more true to myself than I have, here in this small college town. And I’m not afraid to admit it, I have been hella selfish and I’m not even a little sorry about it. I do what I want to do and I don’t do what I don’t want to do (this obviously excludes homework). I feel no ties to any single person, nor do I feel like I have to hang out exclusively with a certain group of people. I go about my day being me and not worrying about anyone else.

I am only responsible for MYSELF and MY actions; and there is something so freeing about that. The only word that really describes how I feel is invincible. I know, its foolish to think of yourself that way and I know, that mindset can get you into trouble. But, when are we going to have the opportunity to be this young, and this foolish ever again?

I may not quite be ready to say goodbye to my first year of college, but I am ready to face whatever obstacles are thrown my way.

~Probably Cliche.

 

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