If you’re reading this, odds are I texted you a link and you semi-willingly clicked on it to read these little posts that I type up, which means you are probably one of those lucky people I call my friends. Now, I hope the title didn’t alarm you, but I need you to know that I love you, which is why I hate you. This post is about to be gushy, and for that I am sorry.
In high school I didn’t have many friends… mostly because I hated everyone. I had a couple of people that I would talk to and laugh with in my classes but I really only had 2 people that I actually hung out with. They knew each other and had been close for a long time before high school, but they kind of adopted me into their friend group. And I’m so glad they did because I think a lot of times we saved each other. We had some rough patches, I didn’t talk to one of them for almost a year (yeah, I know you’re reading this and I hate that we went on like that for so long. I’m sorry). But in the long run, I ended my senior year of high school with the friends same friends I started my freshman year with. I can’t imagine getting through that hellhole without them. Now, the three of us go to different colleges, but when we’re back together, we’re as obnoxious as ever, and it’s like nothing changed.
Because of my deep disdain for my high school, I became very involved with my church. The friends I made in my youth group are the people I adventure with. We’ve experienced so many things together. Our youth group is very close and through the church we only grew closer. We met every Sunday evening and usually there was some sort of activity planned for us. That was nice, however we really formed true friendships over weekend retreats, mission trips over the summer and a week-long camp in Black Mountain. We even got to go on a 10 day heritage trip to Scotland. We bonded over these shared experiences and I’m sure all of us would agree that we wouldn’t trade the experiences or friendships for any amount of money. My church friends have a special place in my heart because, no matter how far away we are from each other our roots are all planted in the same soil.
I know I said I didn’t really have friends in high school and I know I said it’s because I hated everyone there, but I ended up rooming with one of the people from that place. We were “friends” in high school, I enjoyed her presences and I wouldn’t avoid her if I saw her in public, but we never went out of our way to hang out with one another. It ended up working out really well, and we got closer as the school year went on. She introduced me to another set of roommates across the hall from us. Now, the four of us are practically inseparable, if we’re not together we are in class. These girls have become my sisters. We get on each other’s last nerve (sometimes on purpose) and we’re not a
fraid to call each other out. We fight like family, but we also love like family.
My friends are my world. They are my solace, they’re the people I know I can go to no matter what. They’re like family in way,except I actually CHOOSE to hang out with them.
I just said a lot of nice things (it doesn’t happen often), so you may be wondering where the hatred comes in. Well, you see, I am not a fan of feelings. But, when you have friends that are as awesome as mine, it’s hard for me to pretend like I don’t have feelings. When I am at school, I miss my friends from home; and when I’m home I miss my friends from school. This is the struggle.
This summer I will be working at a camp for 10 weeks. I’m really excited, and I’m going to be making bank. But, now I will be away from my school friends and my friends from home and I am NOT looking forward to it. I don’t want to miss out on random adventures, birthday celebrations and bonfires. I’m really grateful for the opportunity to work for this camp, but I will miss my friends a GREAT deal.
Also, while I’m missing my friends I’ll (hopefully) be making friends that I’ll miss anytime I’m not at camp. It’s just this vicious cycle of missing the people that I want to spend time with. It’s just not fair. I wish I could pick them all up and take them with me wherever I go, that way I would never be bored and I wouldn’t HAVE to miss anyone.
So friends, this is why I hate you. You make me have these feelings, gross. You think I want to miss you? I don’t…
But in all honesty, who knows where I would be without each and every one of you. It sucks missing you all, but it just means that I’ve been lucky enough to have something to miss and not everyone has that. So, thank you for being your idiotic, sassy, adventure seeking selves. And thank you for making me hate you.
“How lucky I am to have something that makes saying goodbye so hard”
–Winnie the Pooh
Okay that’s enough. I hate all of you. Bye.